


Tropical Passion

by pepsicola



Category: South Park
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17774132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsicola/pseuds/pepsicola
Summary: Why are there toilets in the JUUL room?





	Tropical Passion

“I mean, since we’re selling this shit, we should know what the hype’s about, right? Why so many people are willing to buy these things from us.”

“Yeah…”

Cartman and Butters stared down at the JUUL stick in Cartman’s hand. It looked like any other JUUL the kids on the playground used. It was black, rectangular, and looked like a USB. They were alone in the bathroom during lunch recess. Normally, they would be out trying to sell their product, but earlier that morning, Butters had asked if Cartman ever wondered why so many people were into vaping, and now here they are.

Cartman held out the vape to Butters. “You try it first since you’re the one who’s out on the playground selling it,” he said.

Butters looked at the stick, then back up at Cartman. He didn’t want to try it first. He said, “No, I think you should. You’re the braver one here.”

Cartman narrowed his eyes at Butters. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. I know you’re trying to convince me to try it first by telling me I’m braver. I taught you that trick, dumbass.”

Butters mumbled, “Guess you’re right about that. Should we get another JUUL so we can do it together? So we aren’t just sittin’ around worryin’?”

“No. We can’t waste product. If we used one more, then that’s more money lost. We’re just gonna have to share this one.”

They continued to stare at the JUUL in silence again. Cartman scowled. “This is getting stupid. If fucking kindergarteners can do this, then you and I can totally do it,” he said.

Butters asked, “Okay, which flavor?” He opened up his trenchcoat, displaying the variety of pod flavors.

“Tropical Passion, I guess.”

Butters took the Tropical Passion pod from his shirt and handed it to Cartman. Cartman inserted it into the stick. Then he paused.

“Well?” Butters said. “Are you gonna do it?”

Cartman glared at him. “Fuck off. I’m getting there. I’m just trying to remember how to inhale. When the guys and I tried to smoke cigarettes, we didn’t do it right and ended up in a coughing fit.”

Butters tilted his head. “You fellas tried smokin’ before?”

“Long story,” Cartman muttered. He raised the JUUL to his lips. Butters watched as he stalled for a moment, continuing to hold the stick there. Finally, he took a breath in. He lowered the JUUL. After a few seconds, he exhaled. White smoke billowed between them.

“Well?” Butters asked, knocking his knuckles together. “How’s it taste? Do you feel relaxed? Are you addicted?”

Cartman threw him another glare. “It takes like Tropical Passion. It’s not disgusting like cigarettes. I don’t know if I’m relaxed. And I’m not fucking addicted.” He took Butters’ wrist and slapped the vape in his palm. “Now you go.”

“I don’t know how to inhale it though,” he said.

“Just breathe it in slowly and hold it there for a couple of seconds. Then breathe out. Jesus, Butters. It isn’t rocket science.”

Butters put the vape between his lips. He did as Cartman told him, inhaling slowly. Tropical Passion filled his mouth. It wasn’t as unpleasant as he thought it would be. It tasted like mangoes and kiwis. He counted to five before breathing out. Like with Cartman, smoke floated out of his mouth.

Cartman raised an eyebrow at him. “Same questions for you,” he said.

“The taste’s fine. I—I dunno if I feel relaxed yet. And I don’t think I’m addicted,” he answered.

Cartman took back the vape. “That’s because we’re not gonna continuously do this. We’re just experimenting.” He was about to take another drag, but Butters grabbed his arm to stop him.

“No, don’t! That’s how you get addicted. We should just hide the JUUL and leave and never try it again,” he said.

Cartman jerked his arm away. “Chill. I wanna see if another puff will make me feel relaxed. But maybe it should be  _ you  _ taking another breath because you’re obviously not relaxed,” he said.

Butters watched Cartman inspect the vape. Unexpectedly, he turned the thing off and stuffed it in his pocket instead. Butters stared at him. “Quit looking at me like that. I decided against it because we might be able to get away with selling it if we don’t use too much juice. Now we should try to sell a few more vapes before lunch ends,” Cartman said. “After all, if we miss even  _ one  _ sale day, how will we beat the sixth graders and Becky Thompson before one of them take over the playground?”

Butters nodded. “Th-that’s true.”

They left the bathroom and headed for the playground. As they walked down the hallway, Butters whispered to Cartman, “You don’t think we’ll start to smell like vape smoke, do ya?”

Cartman glanced at his lackey. “We shouldn’t be reeking. We took one puff,” he assured.

Butters let out a breath of relief. He really didn’t need to be grounded for smelling like Tropical Passion vape juice.


End file.
